Writing = Life

Writing equals life. 

No, really, it does. If you are a writer, you will know this... or, at least, you'll know it as soon as you read through this explanation. You'll think to yourself (because who else would you think it to), Writing is totally like life, just as she says.

Here's how they are alike:

1. Life gets overwhelming, especially when you see the piles of stuff you have to do. If you start working on the tasks though, allowing yourself the occasional bathroom break or trip to the grocery store, life is a whole lot less overwhelming. 

Writing is the same. Write a little bit--even a page--and suddenly a whole novel, play, or essay becomes that much more doable. The key is to get started and just do it.

2. People will criticize the way you live all the time, telling you all the things you should be doing in your life, along with all the things you should NOT be doing. And some of their advice will be really good, some not so good, and some downright awful. How can you tell the difference? The easiest way is to weigh each piece of advice against who you are, what you believe in, and what you want to be. Reject the advice that has no appeal, but humbly accept the stuff that helps you live better.

Writing is the same. In fact, let me just take this previous paragraph, replacing living with writing, and you'll see: 

People will criticize the way you write all the time, telling you all the things you should be doing in your writing, along with all the things you should NOT be doing. And some of their advice will be really good, some not so good, and some downright awful. How can you tell the difference? The easiest way is to weigh each piece of advice against who you are, what you believe in, and what you want to be. Reject the advice that has no appeal, but humbly accept the stuff that helps you write better.

3. Life is a journey, not a destination. It's not about where you end up, but how you get there, and the process itself should not be torturous. If you hate ever second of running, you wouldn't run, so spend your time being joyful and finding adventures that elate and inspire you, not that make you miserable. It's why we don't work 120 hours a week. Forty is plenty. We need the other hours to do what we love.

Writing is the same. Yes, there may be parts that are harder or less enjoyable--like marketing your book (if you're an introvert) or revising (if it seems tedious)--but treat those ickier parts like the "work" parts, and always mix in some of the fun stuff, the writing exercises or activities you really enjoy. If you hate everything about writing, then you should go find another activity. Go surfboarding, or kite flying, or paint. Life's too short to be utterly miserable.

4. Life isn't perfect. It's practice, and every day you can get just a little better if you work at it. Got depression? You have ways to lessen its effects. Got an arm in a cast? It's in a cast now, but it will heal? Did your last significant other dump you? He/she was probably a big jerk anyway, and you can use this time to heal, figure out your role in the failed relationship, and do better when a better person comes along. It's all about practicing, and while practicing will never make perfect, it will make you stronger, smarter, and happier.

Writing is SO the same. No perfect writing exists, nor does the perfect writer. Practice, though, can go a long way. Every hour spent writing, even if its spent on a manuscript that will never been seen by anyone, is not a waste. Each step builds your skill, teaches you something, and brings you that much closer to changing the world, one reader at a time. 

5. Your life can inspire others. Even people with short lives--brave kids with cancer, young people in car accidents who donated their organs--inspire us with their bravery and sacrifice. A person's life affects other lives deeply, and yours can too. Live your life as an example, live your truth bravely, and others will be changed from knowing you.

Do I have to say writing is the same? Writing is an intimate form of communication with another individual, and your writing can change things. It can change your own attitude, it can change the minds of readers. It can change the world. 

So get out there and live. Write. Speak. Listen. Share. Do great things. 

Change the world.

Drawing Manga--Starting from Scratch

Oh, dear, sweet Jesus, it's been too long since I blogged!

Somehow I don't think readers think it's okay to hear from a blogger once a year, so I know I've been lame, lame, lame.

No excuse. I freely admit I've been utterly lame.

Unfortunately, in my ambition to see another version of my books in print, I've discovered another way I am totally lame: drawing.

Now, I used to be an artist. I really did. I especially loved watercolors, pastels, and pen and ink. But I am woefully out of practice (rather the same way I'm out of practice with the piano for at least the last two years). I want to create a manga version of one of my novels, though, so I'm trying to get back to it.

But I'm awful.

No, truly. I've read studies about the learning continuum, which contend that at the beginning of learning a skill, people have an unrealistic idea of how good they are... but as they learn more, they become far more aware of how much they don't know, how much they cannot do, and their perception of their skills lowers astronomically.

That's kind of where I am in many of my activities. Oh, I'm very good at some things:

1. Teaching
2. Sewing
3. Zumba

I'm somewhat good (developing) at some things, mainly because I practice them, though I am all too aware of my limitations with each one:

1. Writing
3. Parenting

I'm wretched at other things (because of not practicing them), and thoroughly discouraged about whether I'll ever be good at these:

1. Drawing
2. Playing Piano
3. Singing
4. Marketing myself

I'm woefully and hopelessly incapable of learning some things:

1. Gracefulness
2. Lack of bias in politics
3. Charisma
4. Confidence

The first section includes three activities I practice constantly (though sewing is far easier than teaching). They have immediate rewards, too. Teaching and Zumba have daily rewards, mainly stemming from students and their positive response to classes. Sewing gives rewards in the form of finished products, like costumes, clothing to wear, quilts, pillows, and other lovely things. These immediate payoffs mean I have more motivation to keep working on them.

With the second list--including the writing and parenting--I work at these constantly, in so many ways, but I'm only good enough to have figured out just how much I still lack in skill. Not being really good at them makes me sad, especially since both are so important to me (parenting especially). Still, because both are so important to me that I continue to work on them, despite how often they give me nothing in return.

The fourth list I've just resigned myself to not being good at (and living with my limitations in a peaceful way despite how clearly I see my own shortcomings). As I tell myself, though, I can't be perfect, and these are the daily reminders to me of how little I am.

The THIRD list is the most crucial one, though, and the hardest one to face. These three activities are all meaningful to me, but I am all too aware of how terrible I am at each one. Will they ever become something I am good at? Or will I work and work on them only to realize that they belong in list #4? At this point, I don't know.

What I do know is it's time to face them--and to start the practice that might someday make them perfect. Starting with the drawing.

I'll keep you posted on how it goes. I might even post some scanned copies of some of my drawing attempts (even the lame ones) so that you can see how awful I am.

What about you? What would you put on each list?

Publication... at Last!

Good things come to those who wait. 

Of course, they don't always come. And bad things come to those who wait, too.

Good things come (eventually) to those who work at it. Yup, that saying functions better for me, and it gives me hope that no effort towards my goals is ever wasted. Now, as I'm working on my fourth novel in the YA fantasy series about a boy who can see inside, well, almost everything, the first book in the series has been picked up for publication.

Honestly, I hadn't tried to send the book out until this year, mainly because every time I read through it, I found a hundred more changes to make. Some writers urged me to self-publish, and I might have done so had I felt it was ready. I finally started sending it out this January, when I could read through it and just enjoy it, without restructuring, rewriting, and shredding.

I've made changes since then -- including changing the main character's name to Joshua (since the Maze Runner series had Thomas center-stage) -- and I've read through four sets of galleys, each one taking me a step closer to the final version. The editing is all over now, though. The book is final.

The thought of that is both daunting and exciting, but I'll explain all that in a future post.

Here's the cover:

Cover art courtesy of Black Rose Publishing

The book comes out August 9, but it's already available for pre-order (10% off) through the publisher at their website:

ORDER THE GHOST PORTAL

If you'd like a signed copy, you can pre-order those, too. Just post me your e-mail, write me at shakespeare824 at hotmail.com, or find me on Facebook (Cheryl Carvajal), and we'll make that happen.

More details to come... including a few excerpts... to stay tuned.

Taking Myself Seriously

I bet millions of people have checked out this blog in the MONTHS since I last wrote on it. And then they left.

Yup, they read the title, realized I was serious about this whole not writing stuff, and left.

I don't blame them.

One could say that I took my own words too seriously. Yup. I seriously decided I wouldn't write anymore (dammit!) and seriously took steps to make sure I didn't.

But one would be wrong.

You see, I didn't write here because I didn't take my writing seriously. I had decided NOT to be serious about my writing. As a result, I didn't write. Day after day, night after night, opportunity after opportunity, I let the voices in my head talk my out of writing.

Not anymore.

I vow, from this day forward, to take my writing seriously. Seriously, I do. I changed my profile. I quit my job. I have been slowly weeding all sorts of distractions out of my life to make sure I have room for writing, to make sure I have time to take writing seriously.

So, if you've checked back here a few times, come again. I'll be here. And if you just happened on this blog by chance, come back.

Or don't. Either way, I'm seriously writing.

Making Time

You don't have time to write. 

I know you don't. Neither do I. 

That's because time doesn't hand itself to me. It just floats by, and I wander around NOT doing the things I want to be doing because of other have-tos. 

And yet I don't. I make time for exercise. EVERY DAY. Sometimes 2 1/2 hours of it. Sometimes more (I do take off the occasional day, but not very often). 

I do make time to teach my kids. LOTS of time. I make time to play on the computer in the mornings. I make time to read, even if it's just a half hour before bed (but it's usually more). I would make time for writing if I made it a priority. 

Sounds like it's time for a list. I'm brilliant with lists--they are part of my daily life. I keep a book of them around me at all times. But this is not a daily list. This list is an expression of what is most important to me, judging by what I do. IN ORDER. And it shows why I don't write enough.

1. My children and their schooling.

2. My job at the Firehouse (must keep it!).

3. Exercise.

4. Cleaning my house.

5. Reading.

6. Paying bills.

7. The hubby (isn't it horrible that he's so far down the list?).

8. Artistic pursuits (writing, painting, drawing, sewing, cooking, piano, everything).

THIS is why I don't write. I put it last on the list. I am more likely to take out the trash or wash my car than write! Ack!

What the list should be…

1. My children and their schooling.

2. The hubby (sorry I don't keep you here).

3. Exercise (have to keep it here for health reasons).

4. My writing.

5. Other artistic pursuits.

6. My job at the Firehouse.

7. Cleaning house.

8. Paying bills and other necessaries.

9. Reading.

Now I just need to print this out and follow it! 

Can you re-prioritize? If you did, what would you change?

What's the Worst that Could Happen?

If I don't write, the world won't come to an end.

Will it?

Besides, the laundry needed doing. I'm only finishing the last load this morning because I spent more time on it yesterday than I did on writing. I had the afternoon--and I was planning to write, really--but then I realized I had the whole week's lesson plans to do.

Now that the internet is working on my work computer, I have a mass e-mail to send out. And arts classes to plan. And vendors to e-mail. And I still have to fold the last two loads of laundry. And teach class.

And I'm sure I can think of other things to fill my time with instead of writing. Let's see, there's "take a nap," in case I'm the slightest bit tired. I could also "unload the dishwasher," even though the kids can do that on their own. And "nag kids to do their homework" should take up at least an hour or two. If I don't take the time to nag them, I won't really feel like a mom. I can't write down "paint," though. Too creative. I have to put that at the bottom of the list, along with "sew." Wouldn't want to get any actual MAKING done today. Better to feel the day is a complete scrap.

*sigh*

As long as I put writing at the bottom of the list--along with music, art, and any other creative pursuits--it won't get done. And then I'll never finish a project. And I'll never have to face critics. The pressure will be off.

But I won't be a writer. Or an artist. Or a costume designer.

I guess I better get to work. The REAL work, too. Not sweeping. Not laundry. Writing.

Snarky Voices

Some people have their own cheering section. You know these people. Perhaps you are one of these people, but you'll never admit it. These are the people who go out for American Idol and insist to the world that they are the best singers EVER. And they stink. Absolutely stink. But they have no understanding of singing, or what it takes to sing well, and cannot hear how horrid they are.

These are the ones who don't understand why they don't just "get" grades they want. Why don't people see how smart they are? Why don't people recognize their brilliance, and all rally behind them because they are, simply put, AWESOME? These people are frustrated when others don't simply agree with them. After all, they are ALWAYS RIGHT.

Hubris. Gotta love it.

I think it spreads around a lot more than we are willing to admit.

But then, I wouldn't know. I'm so far from hubris it's amazing I'm still trying. Sure, these self-assured people can get annoying, but it would be nice to BE one of these people, if only for a day.

I got the snarky voices instead. The critical ones who don't stop talking even when I relax at the piano keys. Who grumble even when I actually do make some headway on my novel revisions. I'm wondering more and more whether I am just schizophrenic, if these voices are a manifestation of my own insanity.

All I know is they won't stop talking, and they don't say anything nice.

Where do they come from? Every corner of my life. Every stray negative comment. Sure, I can block them out, but not completely. I can argue with them, or take action despite their derision, but I still hear them. That is why I am ultra cautious about what I tell others. I don't want to contribute to their own voices… at least not the way I contribute to my own.

But I will continue to fight them. I will keep writing, keep painting, keep drawing, and keep writing, despite all they say. I will never give up.

Wake Up, Stupid

It's 6:08 a.m., the time of the day when I seem most able to write.

Not because I'm brilliant at this time in the morning. No... but at this time all I hear is my grandfather clock ticking, and everyone else is still sleeping. The hubby has been quite obliging lately, elbowing me to get up by 4:15 each morning (as if he's dreaming that I'm sleeping through an alarm I didn't even set), so I've had time to catch up on e-mail, pay some bills, and even do a Sudoku game up to this point.

So I'm awake, I guess. But not really.

How much are we really awake during the day, anyway?

It's a basic question, not too complicated. How much do we pay attention when we are driving, for instance? I drove right past the library on Tuesday, then drove right past the post office Wednesday. If I'm on auto-pilot in the car, when I probably pay attention most, what am I doing the rest of the day?

The truth is, I'm distracted. I have thoughts racing through my head--fears, too--and lately they are keeping me from enveloping myself in the present moment. Even as I counsel my daughter about math or nag my son about his homework, I'm fearing the future if they can't grasp the concepts I'm teaching. Even as I write this (or work on novels), the voices I mentioned earlier (in a post two days ago) creep into my consciousness, slithering around until what I would like to write is a jumble.

I feel like I'm half awake, only half aware, and it's not a good feeling.

My kids are only half-engaged, too. They are brooding through their assignments, most of their brain energy focused on the moment they will get to play video games. But that is the whole problem. Their lack of focus means that homework is five times harder and takes five times longer to do. And that means they are literally finishing up their final piece of it right before bed. No video games for them!

So last night I took it all away. No TV, no video games, no computer for the time being. Until they can focus, their only outlet will be physical activity...

That has to be my rule, as well. No TV, no video games, nothing but physical activity until I really throw myself into this novel. (I have to get the physical activity, or I will go completely crazy, and crazy is no way to write--or is it? Hmmm... must think about that one.)

IF I revise at least a chapter AND/OR spend at least an hour on my novel today, I get some TV or other fun time. If I don't... well, then I get diddly squat, as I'd say to my kids. We've all got to wake up, get our work done, and earn the play time at the end of the day.

If you have advice for me, advice to make me wake up, to stop putting off my writing, please let me know!

Why Do I Listen to Myself?

I have given in at times...

I've backed away from a challenge when people suggested I wasn't good enough to do something. I've held back from trying when I knew no one expected me to make it.

But I've also proven people wrong so many times. I wasn't supposed to marry my hubby--it wouldn't work, my family said--but we're about to celebrate 20 years of marriage. I was told not to try being a teacher (it wouldn't suit me), yet I've managed to get three degrees in English and teach for nearly as many years as I've been married. And I'm a good teacher. I'm interesting, I'm effective, and I'm fair but tough.

I've learned to ignore what people say. They are too quick to give up on me, to likely to be skeptical about my abilities, too likely to brush over me, dismiss me, ignore me.

But then my own inner voices come... and they tell me the same things... and I don't ignore them. I let them shove me down, pull me back, shiver me into a corner. I back away from challenge. I hold back, I keep quiet, I shut myself up entirely.

Why? Why do I listen? Why don't I slap those nasty voices into next week (oops, there's a bad pun), toss them in the trash where they belong, wash myself free of them in the shower, letting them go down the drain and disappear for good?

Better yet, why don't I try to SHOW them? I do this with outside people, but I don't challenge my own voices. Why don't I just see this as a challenge?

It's because they are me. They are my caution, my tact, my defensive mechanisms. These same voices keep me from saying stupid or mean things out of anger. Sometimes shutting up is the best choice, and I'm grateful when they help me make it, too.

I can't just chunk them out a random window. They are as much me as the determination, the work ethic, the sensitivity, the everything of me. But they need to go to their room sometimes, and let me work. They need to leave off. They need to go take a nap or something so that I can get back to writing without them screaming at me.

Wow. They're listening. I'm amazed. I can see their shoulders hunching a little in shame. I can see their sad looks. Their off to their rooms to think about what they've done. Are they giving me the day off? I sure hope so. I could use the afternoon for writing. Without their looking over my shoulder.

Now I'm off. If they pop their heads out, I'll just glare until the heads disappear. If they start grumbling, I'll turn on the radio to drown them out.

Maybe I should turn on the radio NOW.

Hurdles

I'd love to start working on my Mermaid novel again.

I really would. But I have two syllabi to finish... and they need to be finished NOW. Class starts Monday for one, Tuesday for the other.

My little devil voices have been whispering... "Why not just get part of it planned, and then you can plan out the rest as you go?"

I'm no fool. I haven't been teaching 20 years for nothing. If I don't plan it out now, I'll be scrambling mid-semester to get it done, and then I'll have papers that need grading, other projects pending, and God only knows what else.

You see, the syllabi seem like hurdles right now... and they sort of are... but they are self-imposed. I could do what the voices say, but I'd be putting off more planning, starting the semester without a crystal clear idea of where the semester will end up, setting myself up for panic later.

And I don't like panic.

Same with novel writing. Only once have I written a whole draft of a novel without planning it out meticulously. And my next "revision" of that novel will mean scrapping 75% of it, minimum. It means more work for me in the long run, not less.

That's why I plan. And that's why I'm off to finish those &%*#(@ syllabi, to save myself a world of time later.

Anything you're in the midst of planning?

I Resolve Nothing

I make resolutions every freaking year.

By the time the end of the years rolls around, I can't even remember what they were. No, really, I can't. And nothing ever seems to change. I watched the ball drop last night (it doesn't get less lame with time, I'm afraid), and then the year 2013 popped up on the screen.

I looked at the hubby, and he looked at me. He shook his head, reading my thoughts the way I read his. "It looks like an ugly number, doesn't it?"

I nodded. I normally love the number 13, but the flashing year numeral looked wrong on the screen--garish, mistyped, overblown, or something--and I took a step back. The hubby disappeared, and I found him moments later in the other room, away from the crowd, just sitting and looking at his knees.

A few minutes later we drove home. And now it's morning, the day looks normal, and I have a list of work things to get done before the week ends. This list reminds me of daily tasks, ones that simply MUST get done, and they leave no room for long-term resolutions.

So, for the first time in God knows how long, I'm not making any year-long goals. I'm going to take today, do what I can with it, and do the same thing tomorrow. That's it. No lofty guilt-inducing goals to become a runway model, save the world, find a cure for cancer, or write fifteen books.

I'm just going to face each day, one by one, and make the most of living in the moment.

Be blessed this year, everyone. For those of you who have made resolutions, I hope your daily behaviors get you there, and you meet your goals. For those too caught up in turmoil to handle what you have now, may you find calm and peace enough to balance out your lives a bit more.

For those of you who truly believe you can change the world for the better this year, I send all my good karma and wish you all the success in the world. But only today is promised to me, so...

Cleaning

I'm doing the regular cleaning stuff--dishes, laundry, sweeping--but my focus over this final week of break is to clean out the other have-tos:

1. Finish my syllabi and print them off for my classes.

2. Set up my online class on Angel.

3. Complete all mending/sewing projects.

4. Prepare five canvases for next painting project.

5. Go through kids' clothing in prep for their start of term. Donate small clothing.

6. Get ahead with my Firehouse work so that January and February are more relaxed.

And I think that's it. Clearing out the junk makes my whole life easier, and hopefully I'll set myself up for active achievement in the writing, painting, musical, and sewing realms in the coming year. I won't tell you what my new year's resolution is yet. Perhaps you can guess?

What "housecleaning" are you doing right now? What are you preparing for?

Writing--Christmas Cards

I'm still finishing up Christmas cards. Okay, that's not quite honest. I only began them yesterday... and I am hoping to finish them today.

I'm pretty motivated, though, mainly because it will be yet another big task off my to-do list. Then I can work on SEWING. Yup. Not writing. I have to get a bunch of mending and sewing done during the break. Only then can I really get back to writing.

Weird how I've put writing at the bottom of my list for so long. No, it's WRONG how I've put writing at the bottom. But it's at the bottom, nonetheless.

I've cleared my spring schedule some, however. I'm now down to TWO jobs--teaching and artistic director at the local gallery--and that (hopefully) will leave me time for a few fantastically fun things. What are they, you ask? (I just KNEW you'd ask!) Here's my list, just below my job responsibilities:

1. Audition for Oliver! Even better, get a part, involve my kids in it, and help out with costumes.

2. Paint Cape Flattery on a five-canvas display for my new sunroom. It's a huge project, but I hope to start it during the break, and work on it every single day. I'll need to collect a lot of newspaper, though, so that I can spread out and paint with abandon.

3. Revise my Mermaid novel, my Charley novel, and both of my other novels, and set out to get at least one of them published. I can't control who is willing to serve as my agent, but I can't get one if I don't send the damn manuscripts out.

4. Participate in Script Frenzy (April) and write some more plays. Get them sent out, too, to local theatres.

5. Sew, sew, and sew some more! I have tons of fabric, some truly lovely patterns, and a working sewing machine. What's keeping me from it?

The only resolution forming in my head for the year is to "write every day"... I fear that adding "sew every day" and "paint every day" and "play piano every day" will make handling all four impossible.

Any plans of your own? Anything you've been setting aside, that you hope to get back to?

Why the Hell am I NOT Writing?

I'm not writing.

I know you know that.

I know that you know that I know that you know that. Yet I keep repeating it all over the 'Net. Ad nauseam. Yup, you're probably gagging at this point. I know I'm gagging.

Yet I'm not writing.

It's hard to write and gag at the same time. If you don't believe me, go try it for yourself. You'll see. Besides, at least then you'll be off doing something instead of reading about me not doing it.

Let me tell you what else it's hard to do AND write at the same time:

1. Eat. Peanut butter mushed into a laptop does it no good. And I can't type one-handed, either. When, oh when, will somebody invent an automatic feeder?

2. Sweep, mop, clean the shower, do laundry, or any other type of housework. Not physically possible.

3. Write Christmas cards. Sure, I have a pen in hand, but I can only handle one form of writing at a time, and it's no good to get ONE Christmas card done a day. I need LOTS of Christmas cards done. And fast. Now would be good.

4. Drive. Now we're moving into dangerous territory--like smash-the-laptop-into-my-face-when-I-slam-the-car-into-a-tree territory. Please DON'T go out and try this one. I promise, even without attempting it myself, that it won't end well.

5. Grade papers. I don't have much longer on this one, since grades are due Thursday, but it still eats up writing time.

6. Help kids with homework. And, no, I don't mean DO the kids' homework. I'm pretty strict about that. But I'm continually amazed at the perception of my kids. As soon as they think my mind has wandered somewhere else, they suddenly need my help. How did they get that intuitive?

7. Attend stuff--whether a play, a party, a meeting, or anything else where human interaction is expected. Hosting a party is even worse! Why couldn't I just make myself a recluse this time of year? I could be Emily Dickinson. Though I wouldn't wear my hair like that. Talk about homely!

I could add more, but the truth is that EVERYTHING I'm doing right now--or needing to do--simply doesn't allow me to write. The problem isn't all the stuff. It's that I'm allowing it to take the place of writing. I'm placing writing at the bottom of my list, under "clean out the fridge" and "donate clothing to Salvation Army."

Until I make writing a priority, it won't happen.

Hopefully I'll move it up soon. I've got some deadlines coming up, and I'd love to think that once they are over, I'll get to writing, but I know better. I'll have two classes to prep for January, books to read, housework to do (forever!), and I probably will still put writing off.

It's all my fault, and I know it. And if you're not writing--or doing the things you say you love doing but never do--then you're at fault, too.

I just wish KNOWING this stuff made me stop doing it... and start writing again. Maybe for Christmas I'll get some free time. And I'll use it more wisely. I'll let you know.

What do you want in your stocking this year?

Play Day

Finally, after three and a half months of straight work, I have a day off.

Okay, sure, I need to vacuum... and do dishes... and mop that floor that's still sticky from our party over the weekend... and I'll keep going on that to-do list if I don't stop myself now.

But that's just it. I'm stopping myself RIGHT NOW.

I will do dishes. I'll neaten up some. I'll do whatever I can before I take the kids to school for their last school day of the week. But as soon as my kids have been dropped off, the have-to's end. I'll have my paints and brushes and paper set out before we leave for school--I'll even set out a nice clean glass of water--and from the moment I step back in, it'll be time to play.

Not making pies for Thanksgiving. In fact, all the cooking I need to do will be on that day itself. If I play my cards right (and don't give in to guilt) I'll be painting and writing tomorrow, too. Maybe watching a movie. Or reading a book.

It's crucial that I play for the next few days. And that I avoid stores on Friday at all costs.

And play. And play some more.

What about you? Will you play?

Wow, Have I Been Totally BUSY!!!

Just thought I'd update. I'm maintaining about eight jobs right now--most of them paying--and I am pretty much running around with my head cut off as a result.

But I'm happy. I'm happier than I've been since I moved. And I feel like progress is happening. I'm teaching again (love it!), I'm director of a non-profit arts organization downtown (love it!), I'm editing the sequel of a novel I edited last year (love both the book and the author!), and I'm preparing to throw myself into a book of my own, which, oddly enough, ALREADY HAS A PUBLISHER! EEEK!

I'll give you more details later, but my normally loud snarky voices have taken the week off and flown to Barbados. I just hope the only people they pester there don't speak any English (or Snark).

I'm sure the voices will be back, though, so I'm setting mirrors all around, hoping they might catch a glimpse of themselves and find their ugliness bad enough to run away forever.

If I Were Dead, Would that Get Me Published?

First of all, I'm not dead. This is not some cousin sitting at my house and hacking into my computer right after my funeral (though that would make an interesting short story).

Nope. I'm still alive and kicking. And that makes my writing worth less than my mid-sleep drool. No, that's not true. I'm too used to writing fiction, it seems. I don't drool. Perhaps my writing is worth less than my toothpaste foam? I do actually brush my teeth. A lot. And I floss, too.

But I digress. I spent the last week or so reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and the first 100 boring pages left me wondering why an editor didn't tell the writer to cut half of the exposition at the beginning. Or all of it. Then I realized that the writer was dead. An editor couldn't exactly cut it out over the author's dead body, could he? Or could he?










I know the book is a bestseller. I don't mean to criticize, really. But I did wonder whether the book is not far more popular because its author is dead. In the same way that an artist's paintings suddenly cost twice as much when the artist is no longer around to paint any more of them. 

And I still wish the first part had been edited down a LOT. And I didn't find the prose in the least bit "steamy," as the back cover promised. I wish I'd liked the characters more. I wish the justified deaths of the bad guys had been more satisfying. I wish there had been more suspense. More than anything else, I wish the author were still alive so that he could revise a little, improve, and make his books utterly spectacular.

I guess that makes me grateful. My best draft of any of my books isn't very good, but I'm not dead. I have time still to work on them.

What have I learned from all this, besides the fact that I hate exposition?

1. I'm not dead. (Whew!)
2. I don't want to be dead.
3. My writing still needs work.
4. If I don't become a published author until after I'm dead, that will stink big time.
5. I need to get to work on my writing!!!!

Come to think of it, so do you! You won't live to be 300, so you might as well get to work on your big life's project right now. Go do it. Get off this page. Stop wasting time reading my drivel and create some of your own. And then revise it. Cut out the damn exposition. Make it better.

Geez, are you still here? Go! Really! Why are you still reading this!?

OMG, I'm POSTING!

I believe my last post was in APRIL! I so suck! No, please don't comment that I don't suck, for I won't believe you. This is not the blog where people are supposed to be all nice to each other and say polite things. Nope, not the place. Give it to me honestly, or don't comment.

Fine, then, don't comment. Who said I wanted your comments anyway...

Besides, I'm posting, so nobody should complain. I'm sure you're so giddy that I'm here again that you almost spilled your coffee on your new pajama pants. And I'm only posting so that you can know why I'm such a non-posting goofball.

You see, I pretty much took four months off. Yup, May to August, to be precise, and now that I'm back on a roll and as busy as it is physically possible to be, I'm posting. Weird, huh? I had far more time during the summer, and I managed to accomplish absolutely nothing. Also weird.

Anyway, now that my kids are back in school, I find I have a TON of new work to do. These are my current jobs. I've put a dollar sign by those jobs which actually pay money, but don't believe for a moment that this is why I've added them to my weekly schedule. I'm a month in to most of them, and I'm a bit out of breath, but I finally feel like I have stuff to get up for in the morning, stuff that makes my heart beat wildly with excitement. I've also marked stuff that's new for this year. So, here's the list:

1. Director of the Bainbridge-Decatur County Center for the Arts (New)($): I was on the board last year, but everything shifted over the summer, and now I handle publicity for classes and art shows for a beautiful, historic Bainbridge Firehouse downtown which has been turned into an art gallery and meeting center.

2. College Instructor (New)($): I'm only teaching one class, but it's English, so it still gives me plenty of grading.

3. Director of Children's Choir: As I did last year, I'm directing 2- to 11-year-olds in my church's annual musical for Christmas.

4. Mother and Homework Helper: I'm on kid duty every afternoon, sometimes all afternoon and evening. The hardest part of this so far was getting my kids to realize they were back at school, and homework was a requirement.

5. Zumba instructor ($): I've cut down my classes a bit, but I still teach this two days a week. Many people want me to teach more, but I'm determined to leave my evenings free.

6. Author/Researcher of Spirits and Legends of the Chattahoochee Trace ($?): This is one of those projects that hopefully will pay off in a little bit, but I'll have to put in all the research and time and travel first, most likely. I'm excited about it, though, for I love research into legends and ghosts, especially when the research involves both.

7. Editor/Ghost Writer ($): I've done three of these projects over the last few months, and I just received another assignment. This latest one is just for editing, though, and I could not be more pleased. She's a great person and a great writer, and I am grateful not to be ghost writing, for that is a far harder task to undertake, as I have discovered through the past year. Editing is also great for my own writing, so this is good practice.

8. Organizer/Board Member for Women's Shelter: This is just starting up in our town, and we're busy collecting furniture and donations for it, organizing fundraisers, and, in my case, creating brochures for it, editing policies, and figuring out ways to get the whole thing going. I am by far not the most active board member, but that is only because the other ones are SOOOO hard working!

I'm also busy on other continuous projects--things like sewing for my kids and myself, painting and drawing, framing projects, and my continuous list of chores to keep the household going. I may very well have missed something, but I can edit this post (Thank God!).

So, what have all of you been up to?

A Snail's Pace Won't Boil Water

I have a few too many pots boiling at once.

1. I am costuming a musical--and I've so far managed to measure about HALF the cast.
COMPLETION: 5 %

2. I am revising a translation from Italian (yes, a language I am not actually fluent in). Thankfully, all I need to do is a quick final edit, and the project is finished.
COMPLETION:  90%

3. I'm trying every single day to make sure my kids stay on track with school, homework, chores. But I still have over a month of school remaining.
COMPLETION: 80%

4. Our house's addition is nearly complete, but then we have a lanai to put over the pool.
COMPLETION: 60%

5. I am helping to refinish a kitchen in an historic building downtown. Actually, I start helping today. And we have two weeks to get it done. We've planned it out, at least.
COMPLETION: 10%

6. Miscellaneous house projects still await, like some refinished floors, lacquered TV trays, a laundry room paint, etc. But I've done most of the house, at least.
COMPLETION: 90%

Thankfully, once I put my time into these projects (especially 1 and 5), the percentages will change.

But you know what else it means? No writing. It means my mermaid novel will have to wait. It means that I'm not participating in Script Frenzy. It means that those summer dresses and shirts I'd like to make my kids probably won't happen.

Darn.

If anybody has figured out how to squeeze a couple more hours out of a day, please let me know!

Not Writing--Costuming

I just finished a mammoth short story (a long, long short story), and I was all set to begin work revising my mermaid novel (once I've read through and edited two novels for a fellow writer), when I got a FANTASTIC call.

The local theatre is doing ANNIE... and while there is no way I have the evening time to be in it (and thus didn't audition), they've asked me to do costumes!!!! Yippee! I haven't costumed a whole show in several years, and, though I like acting, my creativity is far better suited for costuming and writing plays.

I am SO excited! To those of you who like the snarkier tone of this blog, I am so sorry, but I have not been feeling snarky at all lately. Just happy. And now I have yet another activity to adore!

Hope your lives are filled with fun stuff, too! I promise I'll check in when I'm feeling snarky, too. If you are feeling that way, please feel free to share your snarky comments below...