Just Give Up

You know it's hopeless.

So just give up already.

You've been trying for weeks to lose weight, but you've eaten just enough cookies to negate the extra walking you've been doing. But you can't give up cookies FOREVER. So just give up. Go on. Accept that you'll always have that stomach, just the way it is. All those Biggest Loser contestants have different chromosomes than you do.

So give up. Quit trying.

And it's not like you'll ever get a real job again. Why the hell are you even wasting your time applying? Just suck it up, keep the job you hate. Don't bother with college. Years from now, it's not like you'll suddenly have a job you like. Why even try? Just go home and watch TV. Take your mind off your crummy life.

But accept that it's crummy. And it always will be. So give it up already.

Why are you still working on your goddamn novels. They all suck, and even if they ever don't suck, even if you finally get them where you want them to be, it's not like the publishers out there will ever read them. Or at least it will take time--years maybe--and that's too long. Better to use your time eating your way through three pints of ice cream than working on those stupid novels. At least ice cream tastes good. Okay, sure, there are some really good parts to that novel. Yeah, sure, you might actually have fun writing all that crap. Or even revising it, if you're a complete lunatic. Just don't think, for one minute, that it's going to get you anywhere.

So give up. Just give up.

Like anybody gets anywhere just by working at it. Sheesh!